Reason that makes me cry tonight.
Every night. .. or like a few times a week. Perhaps.
I still cry for god knows what reasons.
For as long I can remember, i have this pain in the throat kind of crying. I hardly cry with sound. And i hope i never will. I don’t want it to get that serious again.
Honestly. I think its fear.
The fear of being alone.
The fear of being relied on.
The fear of relying on.
The fear of missing something or someone.
The fear of losing myself.
The fear of loneliness.
The fear of suddenly forgetting things.
The fear of so many things and issues.
I fear the past.
Because of fearing the future. The comparisons
The fear of being good. Because I fear its only turning worst.
How i wish I will get rid of these fears.
I always remind myself not to think so much. Don’t expect, don’t predict.
But the tears jus fall. I don’t even know.
Lack of confidence, lack of control.
It’s fear that I am fear of. ……